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You
have done this, you did that, why this? What were you thinking? All resulting
to beating, why? It’s so pathetic that at this age, we still find parents who
see no other means of correcting their children other than flogging their butts
to serious pain, or worse still, inflicting injuries on the skin of their children.
“Charity
begins at home”is what most parents that fall into this group seize to unleash
terror on their children. Nobody is saying you shouldn’t train your children,
mould them to have good character, build them to be honest, loyal, hardworking,
prayerful,and patriotic among other virtues, but all am pointing out is the
fact that too much beating disturbs a child psychologically. You can beat a child, but let them see it as
the last option, when you have talked to a child, scold him a times and if he
doesn’t change scare him/her with a cane, by flogging with caution. When you
call their attention to certain things and they don’t yield, you then introduce
a cautious beating. The child would also sit down to think, oh! Mum doesn’t
beat me o, means have crossed my boundary, and so he/she changes for good.
Cautious
beating! Yea cautious beating, when some parents are enraged, exasperated and
annoyed, they tend to beat their children anyhow- random beating. The cane
meets the head, and other delicate parts in the course of the action, and then
the child starts watering a problem grow. Even if at all no problem is caused,
the injuries itself are problematic! A boy sees a friend of his in school, and
sees his body beautifully designed with beating, and ask, were you hit by a
trailer or something, the lad replies saying, oh! No, might be uncomfortable
saying his mum caused it, and so would lie saying another thing, then what
charity begins at home?…
It’s
true every parent wants the best for their children but not at the expense of
exposing them to psychological problems. You would be surprised to hear a 7
year old boy say his parents don’t like him, as a result of them flogging him every
now and then, he further says, his friends don’t get the same share of what he
gets at home, and as such the boy is left to thinking why such is happening to
him. Would that type of a boy listen in class? Would he make good grades? And
if he doesn’t pass he still has an unpleasing gift to receive at home. So who
is hurting who? What about the boy that doesn’t accept sorry for anything in
the world? Who blames him?When his parents don’t too, he beats his siblings
mercilessly when his parents aren’t around. You then begin to ask yourself how
his parents have benefitted him with the beating.
“Spare the rod and spoil the child”, beat them
when they do things you don’t like which you have corrected them on, they are
your children, but still, with caution. Some parents would beat their children
ruthlessly, and would still be the one rushing them to the clinic, running up
and down to pay bills. Maybe some parents don’t get it right, they feel if they
beat them they wouldn’t want to repeat the action again. Ask anyone and they
will tell you, when beating is too much the child doesn’t fair the beating
again, and as such no correction is made again. It thus becomes a normal thing
as the gas we inhale.
This
applies to teachers too, who derive joy in beating students for the slightest
mistakes. What impression do we create for these young minds? If you ask me I
would tell you, no student likes a teacher who beats all the time. You beat all
the time and scare them away, from you, your subject and everything, and you
then later complain they aren’t passing your subject, how would they?... We use
to have a teacher in school then, he hardly flogs, he was free to students but
still the mark for respect wasn’t compromised, his subject gets accolades all
the time, students pass easily and get to tell him what their problems were
concerning his subject.
That
memorable day he flogged me, I felt bad myself, if this uncle could flog me,
then I went too far myself. He left the class and I jumped out after him, to
ask for forgiveness. That’s how it should be, let them know the right thing but
not always withcaning them. The room to flog them would always come after much
persuasion, and then they dance to the tone of the music, skelewully or
shokilly.
Beating
children or students should come last always; better methods or approaches
should be taken to correct wrong attitudes in them.
Tijani Sheriffdeen Opeyemi is of the anatomy department of the prestigious University of Ilorin.
To comment on this piece contact him : s_opeyemi42@yahoo.com
